Dumbs and dumbapples
by NoBuddy
Summary: Humorous drabble written for the xRedLeatherx contest. Genesis in action. Be afraid! Be very afraid!


**A/N: Well, this ficlet I wrote for the xRedLeatherx's contest on devart, that being the club for Genesis Rhapsodos. It won me the third place and I must admit I had fun writing it, though it's so darn hard for me to be short, bah! I mean if I weren't pressed by the submittion deadline, it would've ended up being muuuuuch longer, definitely!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FF7 or anything related to it. Squeenix does. Oh, and btw, the quotes from CC are either from the official English version – the Loveless verses, or from Silenttweak's earlier translation of CC, namely Genesis' note in his journal.**

**DUMBS AND DUMBAPPLES  
****(a different approach for a B-day)**

The boy sat cross-legged directly onto the cave's floor, near the entrance. An improbable ray of light was playing with his unruly bunch of hair, making it shine in a rusty hue.

He opened a notebook setting it in his lap and took a fair bite from the purple apple he was clutching in his other hand, then wrote down:

_Day X, Month X, Year X_

_I a__m really happy. I won the National Agricultural Contest with my juice. Well, thanks to our precious dumbapples. They're not only making a great juice, they're also delicious to eat themselves. It's my dream to eat this apple one day with my parents and my hero Sephiroth. I would like to show the fruits of my success to Sephiroth, who is also the same age as me._

_- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -_

Sephiroth opened the door and took a step to enter the kitchen, but almost stumbled trying to stop in the middle of it. The kitchen looked as if there had been a huge explosion – pots, bags of flour, sugar, other unnamed powders, utencils and apples everywhere – and Genesis standing at the epicentre and cursing out loud.

„Wha..." Sephiroth's lips moved on their own, while he stood there with his mouth hanging open. Well, it wasn't as if he hadn't seen scenes like this one in front of him before: usually, when Genesis was doing the cooking, the kitchen looked totally trashed, but now it seemed he'd managed to top himself. He turned to Sephiroth, blazing-red hair waving over his face, and shouted: „WHAT??"

Sephiroth backed a bit. „Uh, nothing. What are you doing here?" he tried, carefully.

„What the hell does it look like I'm doing?? I'm baking a goddamn apple pie, can't you see?!" Genesis shouted. „Get out of here and leave me alone, dammit!"

Sephiroth opened his mouth to ask what the problem was and to offer his help if need be – obviously there _had_ to be a problem; Genesis was usually whistling and howling songs when he cooked, to the point where Sephiroth and Angeal had to stuff pillows over their ears, leave the house or try to gag him to shut him up.

Genesis jerked his phone out of the pocket and started to dial a number, mumbling incoherently in a low voice. He stuck it to his ear and, bending down, reached with the other hand in...to the trash bin?... grabbing something and lifting it to his eyes. It proved to be a ragged booklet.

„Hey, hi Gil!" he barked into the phone, pacing to and fro impatiently and stepping over various utencils that were spread directly onto the floor. „How's life in that Goddess forsaken pit of yours, huh? Yeah, lousy around here, same as usual, thank you very much! Duh, ok, I'll tell them you said ‚hi'. Listen, I'm trying to bake some bloody pie with those apples you sent and they gave us this fancy new oven and... whaddya mean what for?? Bloody hell, because I threw the other one out the window in Palmer's head cos he was getting on my nerves!! Yeah, precisely, he was shrieking songs out of tune in his balcony!! Duh, so what??... I know, I know, leave that now! Thing is this new friggin' _wheelbarrow_ of an oven has the temperatures noted with _letters_, can you believe it?!" he roared. „Yeah, figure that! Got any idea what to make of it? Here, let me read it for you, it's in this shit of a manual. Just listen to this..."

Sephiroth thought it was about time to clear the area. He stepped back closing the door, careful not to make any sound, turned around and got face to face with Angeal, glass in hand.

„Don't!" he said, raising his hand, palm ahead, to stop him.

„Huh?... Don't what?"

„Don't... whatever! Just don't."

„But I only wanted a glass of..."

Sephiroth grabbed Angeal's arm and dragged him away from the kitchen door. Bits of curses and a few thuds could be heard behind it.

„You can take water from the bathroom. Leave Genesis alone. He's _cooking_."

„Ah-haa!" Angeal didn't contradict.

„Oh, and, by the way, Gillian says ‚hi'."

Angeal opened his mouth to ask what his mother had to do with all this, thought again, gave up.

-x-x-x-x-x-

Genesis pricked up his ear towards the door, mako hearing extended to its peak, then a devious grin bloomed on his face.

"Ok", he chuckled, "we can drop the oven thing, the coast is clear. _Now_ let's talk some business!"

-x-x-x-x-x

Sephiroth closed the door behind him and took a seat with Angeal on the couch in the living room.

"I don't know what's wrong with him today", he mumbled sourly, with a dejected mien. "He usually doesn't mind us in the kitchen; on the contrary. He even makes us peel the apples for him."

Angeal chuckled lightly.

"Oh well, seems like this time we'll have to skip it. I won't be the one to complain."

"I heard _**that**_!!" Genesis' voice resounded from the hall – and next moment the door snapped open and he barged in with the hem of his shirt piled up with a whole bunch of apples, which he promptly spilled onto the low table in front of them.

"There! You were saying…?"

Angeal's shoulders slumped a good deal as he looked, considerably withered, at the apples.

Sephiroth only watched Genesis with a curiously relieved look, then asked cautiously:

"Um… you brought some knives too?"

Genesis smirked.

"What's the matter, SOLDIER-boy, Masamune not good enough for you anymore?"

Sephiroth only gaped dumbly at him, while Genesis rolled his eyes.

"Oh boy, there he took me seriously again! After all these years, I'd thought I taught you better than this. Alright, there ya go!", and he got two knives out of his pocket and tossed them to his friends.

One silver-haired General and one stoic mentor grabbed the knives and obediently started to peel the apples, while an undertone muttering could still be heard from the red tornado retreating towards the kitchen:

"Dumb as two dumbapples! Man, I'd so wish to see Angeal some day doing something, _anything_ at all with that Buster chainsaw of a sword of his!! If only peeling apples, for Ifrit's sake!"

-x-x-x-x-x-

The huge cake stood proudly on the table and the scent of baked apples was simply overwhelming for the senses of three eye-gleaming SOLDIERs, gathered around.

"C'mon, Seph! Blow the candle already!" Genesis urged him with an ear-splitting grin.

Sephiroth was still watching the cake in awe. Each year he was taken by surprise, for he could never remember his birthday. Too much to do, too little worth remembering. Apparently, at least. But not for his friends. They would never forget. Angeal had a quiet and knowing smile on his face, while Genesis was rocking in his seat with that 'gotcha!' look all over him and still grinning.

So the General blew his candle, widely smiling too like a careless child that he never had the chance to be, and took his dumbapple juice glass in hand.

"There," said Genesis, "sometimes I still remember how I wished as a kid to get to know and bully you big time, throwing apples at you all over the place! Now my dream came true. Mwahaha!!"

Then he took his glass, too, and declaimed:

"_There is no hate, only joy,  
__For you are beloved by the goddess_  
_Hero of the dawn, healer of worlds…"_

"Yeah, yeah, I know", Sephiroth chuckled. "Yada-yada. We go every year through this. If not every day. Let's skip this part and dig in! SOLDIERs, I demand you to – CHAAAAAAAARGE!!"

Forgetting Loveless and anything else for the matter, three cheerful friends dove into the cake.

Just another B-day party for the ShinRa General of The Armies.

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, and just another merry rant. What!! Fooled by the sober beginning, were you?? C'mon, you didn't really think this was going to be serious… gahaha!**

**Musical background? Crazy Frog vs Safri Duo. Yessss!!**


End file.
